Hello, my name is Teresa and I am a recovering perfectionist (AKA control freak).
I've spent many a days beating myself up for:
Mistakes I've made
Poor decisions (and those consequences)
Falling short on my goals
Believing I should be farther along in life
Imparting my beliefs on others because it was "for their own good"...but brought more bad than good
Not "getting it right" the first time
And so much more.
Accepting that I really can never do it on my own was one of my first steps to giving up control. When I forced decisions and things because that's the way I wanted life to be, to look like, it was as if I was trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. I was very frustrated, sad, and lonely.
But when I started listening and making decisions in His will and doing things that didn't make sense to me, everything started to change. My heart was humbled and my life will never be the same.
Don't get me wrong, I still have days where I cry out, "Lord why do You have me here? This can't be right!" but instead know that there's a bigger picture and my desire for control isn't part of it.