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Grief Myth #6: Stay Busy

Now that we have 5 of the 6 myths under our belts, have you heard this one: "Just keep busy"?

"Just keep busy and you will be fine"

"Just keep busy, it will be all right"

How familiar does this sound (kind of like “replace the loss” with busyness, or if you keep busy, “time will heal” the loss)? By now we all know that this myth—and the last five myths—aren’t helpful.

When we just keep busy, we bury the pain of the loss under an avalanche of activities.

Keeping busy can especially be frustrating for people who weren't so busy to begin with—because in addition to the loss they are trying to heal, they are also trying to create a new life they've never lived before.

Most grievers will say, "No matter how busy I stay, at the end of the day there is still a hole in my heart.” Or they are more frustrated, "I kept busy, but I felt worse not better."

How then do we then begin to heal if what we've heard all or lives doesn't work?

The truth of the matter is grief is:

The normal natural reaction to loss

The conflicting feelings cause by the end of or change in a familiar pattern or behavior.

Unresolved grief is about:

~Things we wish we would have said or done differently, better, or more of.

~Unrealized hopes, dreams, and expectations we had for a relationship.

~Undelivered communications of an emotional nature.

~Being incomplete in our relationships due to death, divorce or other loss. Incompleteness can have a lifelong negative impact on our capacity for happiness.

How do we begin the journey to healing?

Healing begins with an awareness that what we are doing is not helping. Recovery from loss begins with a series of small and correct choices made by the griever. The Grief Recovery Method can help!

You will be lead through a series of small action steps as you learn new things about grief. I will help you build a strong foundation, gain new tools and insights to help you complete the pain caused by loss.

Let me just say that healing is not about forgetting your loved one or letting them go! The Grief Recovery Method allows you to let go of the pain and creates space for fond memories and love.

If you are interested in learning more about the Grief Recovery Method, please reach out. I’d love to see how I can help you!

As always, however you are feeling today, you are never alone. I am here for you. I encourage you to give me a call 951.523.7959, send me an email at or schedule a call.

I promise you, I may not know what to say or do, but I can always be a huge heart with ears.

I believe in you,


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