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How Do You Process Loss?

I was listening to a coaching session recently. A few minutes into the call, after her client shared what she was experiencing, the coach asked, “How do you process loss?”

It seemed like such a simple question, but the client had to take a few moments to think about it.

Finally she said, “I process loss really deep. I kind of keep it close and I really don’t feel it until later. Months later, sometimes.”

As I reflected through their conversation, I was reminded how many of us believe we are handling our grief well, but we may just be setting it aside without truly processing it.

So, I want to ask you: How do you process your grief?

Up until a few years ago, I thought I processed things well…until I went through a program that allowed me to really take a look at how I approached life, what my responses to disappointment, discouragement, and loss really were, and helped me gain insights into other ways that I could be.

I uncovered emotions such as anger and frustration, then mix in a little alcohol. Those were my go-to’s. And even though I knew this about myself, I still thought I handled life well.

I thought, “I’m not hurting anyone, right?” but, actually, I was. I was hurting myself and in indirect ways, I was hurting my family.

Since I’ve committed to this healing journey, I’ve been given a gift to understand that grief is a unique and deeply personal experience–and all of us have our own ways in dealing with it.

Here are some things I’ve learned along the way:

Grief can be very difficult to navigate without the proper information.

Self-awareness is key to healing and building resilience.

Dealing with grief is difficult, but not impossible. 

Pain is a part of life.

Support is crucial to finding different, healthier ways to cope.

Grief is a journey that often demands a unique approach from each of us. It might call for embracing a new perspective, exploring new ways of responding, or creating new thoughts and behaviors. Each step in this journey is an opportunity for growth and healing—I’m not going to promise you that life gets easier, but it sure gets better!

As always, however you are feeling today, I want you to know that you are never alone. I encourage you to reach out—if not to me, then to someone!

I believe in you,


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