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What is Your Inner Critic Saying?

When times are challenging, what words do you catch yourself saying?

Are your words kind or critical?

Are your words uplifting or discouraging?

Are your words loving or harsh?

Our words and the tone we use, believe it or not, have an impact on how we feel, think, and believe.

I find that people are very hard on themselves (including me!) when it comes to situations they are struggling with. We believe to a point that we should have known better, done better, and be farther ahead by now.

Shoulda.

Woulda.

Coulda.

Three very small words, but so powerful that they ignite doubt, shame, and many other emotions in us.

“I coulda been farther along by now...”

“I woulda had a big savings by now if I were more disciplined.”

“I shoulda known better…”

Here are a few things you can do when that inner critic begins to take over:

First, becoming aware of our tone, words, and self-talk is a huge step! I know some of us believe if we use certain words or tone, it motivates us to get things done. Sometimes it does, but I'm betting most of the time it makes us feel worse.

Second, think of the words and tone you would use with a friend who is going through a similar situation. If a friend came to you and spilled her heart, how would you respond? Try thinking of your inner voice as more a friend than a critic.

Third, put those words into action! Instead of focusing on the coulda, woulda, shoulda, what can you do right now to change your situation? What do you need to learn? What resources do you need?


I know it can be difficult to quiet that inner critic sometimes. As you become more aware of the situations that bring judgment or criticism, you can stop the critic when it begins…and choose words that are supportive, loving and kind.

As always, however you are feeling today, I want you to know that you are never alone. I encourage you to reach out—if not to me, then to someone! Give me a call or text at 951.523.7959 or click here to schedule a chat.

I promise you, I may not always know what to say or do, but I can be a huge heart with ears.

I believe in you,

Teresa

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