So far we've covered 4 myths...did any of them sound familiar?
Myth #1: Time heals all wounds
Myth #2: Don’t feel (bad, sad, etc.)
Myth #3: Replace the loss
Myth #4: Be strong
Now Myth #5 (drum roll, please): Grieve alone
Stop me if you’ve heard this…"If you're going to cry, go cry in your room"
I can honestly say that I’m guilty of saying this to my children. Why? Because this is what I was told by my Mom, what I heard my family say to us growing up, and it’s what I saw my Mom do when she was struggling. Of course I followed suit as a parent…until I learned something new.
I recently read a blog post about how to support a woman whose spouse has died. One suggestion was to take her kids out to lunch or away from the home and let the Mom "grieve alone." So not only did I live this myth growing up, it is also reiterated in different areas of our lives.
Did you know that isolation is one of the main things people do when they are dealing with grief?
Even though it may be uncomfortable for us to help others when they are grieving, you can choose support them by:
~Letting them know that you are there for them
~Checking on them often (phone call or visit) and asking if there is anything they need
~Bringing them food or sending gift cards for restaurants or groceries
~Letting them know that you are there to listen (there is really no wrong way to listen!)
~Sharing helpful resources with them, like the Grief Recovery Method
I want to encourage you to reach out. You have support with any experiences you are facing. If no one has ever told you, I'm sharing this with you now: you cannot solve all your problems on your own, you are not weak for needing or asking for help, and there is someone in this world who is a perfect fit to help you!
As always, however you are feeling today, you are never alone. I am here for you. I encourage you to reach out—give me a call 951.523.7959, send me an email at Teresa@restorationshoppe.com or schedule a call.
I promise you, I may not know what to say or do, but I can always be a huge heart with ears.
I believe in you,
Teresa