Have you ever heard of the 5 stages of grief? Most people who know what I’m talking about often believe that these stages are for people who have recently lost a loved…but that’s not true.
Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, author of On Death and Dying, provided “one of the most important humanitarian works on the care of the dying written in the Western world." First published in 1969, On Death and Dying describes exchanges between Dr. Kübler-Ross and her patients, about reactions to their impending death.
From the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation site:
“First, On Death and Dying was never a study of grief and bereavement. It was a discussion of some key emotional reactions to the experience of the dying.”
“Secondly, the so-called “stage theory” that you will read in this book is openly described and discussed as a heuristic device. In other words, these stages are merely a set of categories artificially isolated and separately described so that the author can discuss each of these experiences more clearly and simply. The careful reader will note Kübler-Ross’s own repeated warnings that many of these “stages” overlap, occur together, or even that some reactions are missed altogether.”
“Thirdly, many of the “stages” of the dying described in the book have been subsequently simplified and publicly caricatured beyond recognition.”
“Fourthly, and rather inexplicably, On Death and Dying has regularly been mistakenly and mischievously construed as a research study. It is a popular book of description, observation, and reflection based upon a series of dialogues with dying people. The participants were not invited to be part of a research project but instead asked to talk about their experience to assist health professionals to understand their needs better.”
When we begin to compare our grief with these 5 stages (and if you do an online search for “stages of grief” you can find articles for 5, 7, 8, even 12 stages of grief…good grief!!) we may add stress, confusion, frustration, and hopelessness to our lives because we may feel as if we “aren’t doing it right.”
Here are some things to consider when you’re grieving:
~The grieving process is unique for everyone.
~We all experience grief at 100%
~Grief comes in all shapes and forms, not just from a death—divorce, moving, job change, bankruptcy, health challenge/illness, and many other losses.
~You are never alone.
~Grief recovery is possible, you can take small, action steps towards healing your heart!
~Getting support as soon as possible can help you process through your grief.
To read more about the 5 stages of grief, download your free copy of Debunking the Stages of Grief now.
As always, however you are feeling today, I want you to know that you are never alone. I am here for you. Please give me a call 951.523.7959, schedule a call, or send me an email at Teresa@restorationshoppe.com.
I promise you, I may not know what to say or do, but I can always be a huge heart with ears.
I believe in you,
Teresa