What if I gave you the task of painting a room and I told you that you can only use the tools I gave you: a hammer, a rake and a shovel. How successful would you be at completing this task?
Because we don't have the correct tools, right?
Just because we have tools doesn't mean we can do a proper job of completing the task.
When it comes to grief, we have been given tools (information) since we were very young--from our parents, family, friends and even strangers. These tools may not have been the proper tools to deal with, cope with and work through grief, but tools nonetheless.